I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
