Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
