I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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