I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think people are normalizing furries
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
