id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
