dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
