If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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