I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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