No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
