She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
