We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize