I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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