Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
