the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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