Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
