u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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