I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
