he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want nice things and good sex
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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