I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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