Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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