How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
