I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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