Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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