I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
