I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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