This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
