I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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