Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
