forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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