make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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