Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
