kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
