i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
