the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Porn is love you can see.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
