Porn is love you can see.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
