honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you didnt know i had herpes?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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