So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
