You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
