Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
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i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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