So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
