he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
