Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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