Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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