I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
