my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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