well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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