For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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