No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
