we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
