i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
