Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"it" just moved
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
