I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
