We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
