Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
