that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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