where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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