I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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