The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just google imaged poop.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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