it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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