you guys were way drunker than both of me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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