Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize