Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
