How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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