He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How external is "for external use only"?
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i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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