there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
operation have a gay friend backfired
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
