Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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