I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
