There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
